Out of curiousity, now watching Prey, a Dutch horror film about a lion on the loose in Amsterdam.
Off the top of my head I don’t think I’ve seen a lot of Dutch cinema, although I have vague memories of a horror movie where the murderer is a dude who targets folk through the canals with the use of some scuba gear.
Which admittedly would make him even easier to avoid/evade than most slasher villains, I’ll admit.
Man, this dub is bad!
…And that teen threatened to stab his girlfriend’s dad with a flick knife? …Well I learned a few minutes later the family have a gun, so I guess it makes sense?
The blocking in this film makes no sense. Also, would a lion really kill and eat like four people in the space of a few minutes? I’d have thought it’d get tired or run away after one at least.
Later, at the zoo…
Dave the Cameraman interupting his vet girlfriend, Liz, while she literally has her arm down a crocodile’s throat. Not sure if he’s meant to be charming, like she’s clearly busy and that crocodile’s worth more than you, so shoo!
Urgh, he’s sticking around.
Dave not respecting his gf’s career. Why is he reminding me of a handsome Dutch version of Jerry from Rick & Morty?
Liz meeting with the cops regarding the dead folk, and she can confirm: they were not eaten by red pandas.
Liz! No! Don’t tell Dave the Cameraman about the lion if it’s meant to be a secret!
This dub sounds like British people trying to do American accents. Got a 1990s anime dub vibe.
…Dr Phil’s a thing in the Netherlands?
Dave becoming increasingly gross, apparently in a Weinstein-ish way. Hope he gets munched.
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Businessmen golfing? Oh no, how horrible.
Wait, why did the lion only eat on of them? Boo!
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Ah, phew. I thought that Liz the Vet was going to suggest that lions spontaneously appeared in Amsterdam due to climate change. It escaping from someone’s illegal collection makes more sense.
Hey, reference to the Beast of Bodmin! :D
“Maneater, eh? That sounds serious!“ …I mean, yeah?
So the Amsterdam chief of police is basically the mayor from Jaws? Erkay.
Lion is the best character.
Man, everyone in this movie has a knife. And Dave just stole someone’s curry, the jerk!
Yeah, judging from that dude whose food got stolen, the dub people are British.
Aw yeah, lion vs moped chase!
Again, I don’t think that a lion would have the energy to chase a dude on a moped for a sustained time.
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Dutch police chief dude is hiring a Dutch big game hunter to hunt the lion (boo!). I think that they cast the Dutch hunter’s son a lot older than he’s meant to be, got dialogue like he’s a teenager from the 1970s and he looks like 40… And the pair apparently visit sex workers together, gross!
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Wow, this movie really hates environmentalists. It seems mad that he points out that lions are endangered.
Ohh, the Dutch hunter’s the chief’s cousin! And he’s one of those American dentists who shoot drugged animals. Still, him gettin eaten it should be funny.
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Oh no, the DGH’s got a pith helmet! And a jeep painted in a zebra pattern!
Okey, he’s got some giant beartraps. What are the odds someone’s going to step in one?
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Ah, Dave the Cameraman trying to convine Martin, his reporter friend, they should sneek into the park the lion’s hiding in to get a better look at it. Good plan!
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So DGH’s getting pretty liquored up now, which presumably means he’s going to shoot someone by mistake.
Oh no, DGH’s son is wandering the park as well… and right after failing to shoot the lion that’s eating his dad, he accidentally falls into TWO beartraps. Good job!
Wait what, how did the lion get on a tram?!
I mean, at that explains how it was able to get around so fast.
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So in the space of like three days the lion’s eaten like 15 people? You’d think that he’d be in a food coma by now at leat.
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So after the failure of DGH, they have decided to hire Liz’s ex, Jack the British hunter instead. He’s got one leg, drunk, and has a wheelchair with guns. He also seems to be much more pleasant than Dave, which is nice.
Man the people in this film are ableist, leave Jack alone!
Aw, Jack’s awesome! He certainly has more chemistry with Liz than Dave.
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Yikes, the lion just ate a kid on screen! …Still more likable than Dave. Although this probably means that that nanny’s going to loose her job, just because the kid didn’t understand the phrase “there is a literal maneating lion on the loose, don’t sneak out of the house to go to the slides!“.
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Jack has terminal cancer? Noooo!
…Well those folks doing the dub certainly made same choices with those guys in the bar. The option of “vaguely European Beavis and Butthead“ would never have occured to me.
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Wait, did Martin suggest that Dave shouldn’t worry about Jack potentially “stealing“ Liz because he’s disabled? Man, what an asshole.
And the police chief fired Jack for having one leg?! Boooo!
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Oh yeah, those Nazis from earlier (the film kept cutting to three implied Nazis dudes) accidentally killed three SWAT folk with traps meant for the lion, and then got shot themselves by accident… Man, the people in this film are clumsy.
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Jack! No! Don’t drunkenly fire guns in a restaurant!
Following the failure of the SWAT team, the chief of police decided to rehire Jack. Yay!
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Lion-vision apparently is a purple camera filter.
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Woo! Go Jack go!
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So apparently the lion’s hiding in a university medical school, like some kind of reanimator or somethin’.
…Did they really have to animate the lion’s junk?
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Man, this lion’s such a drama queen. Posing like it’s Michael Myers or something.
Oh no, Jack’s wheelchair ran out of powers! And then the lion ate his remaining leg! Nooo!
Ah, now Jack’s using it as bait… yay resourcefulness?
Jack and Liz vs the world!
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Oh no, Dave’s here! He’s going to mess it all up!
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TIL that apparently morgue fridges have the same kind of locks as the freezers I used to work when I did retail.
Aw, Dave didn’t get eaten, boo!
Welp, lion’s dead. And as Liz stabbed it she gets the win, I guess.
Thanks Dave, you contributed nothing. ____
Wait, where did Dave get injured? …And the police chief is taking credit for killing the lion, boo!
LIz, don’t have sex with Dave, Jack just died gruesomely in front of you! You sawed off his leg!
Yay! Second lion! :D
Aw, the second lion died. :( …And Liz may have detailed a train? Hm.
Still don’t now where the lions came from.
…Wait, how did the second lion work out how to track the ambulance? Can it do math?
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Liz’s dog is called Simba?
Yay! Third lion!
….
Well, that was a stupid film, but it had its charm. The CG with the lion is pretty good, but the dub and acting choices seemed questionable. Dave’s whole deal was… weird. Like, he has no redeeming qualities besides being around. Very strange.
It’s on Amazon Prime, and it’s worth a watch to riff with some friends at least.
DID THEY STOP THE THIRD LION OR IS IT STILL OUT THERE EATING PEOPLE O.O
I need to watch this movie it sounds very silly :D
AND I CRAVE SILLYNESS
DAVE SHOULD HAVE BEEN EATEN THO
They kinda had Liz and Dave get mildly concerned that Simba the dog had vanished for a sec when they were in a park, but after they carried on their way they kind of just dismissed their worries while a liony growl came from a large bush they were walking past.
And yeah, Dave sucked. Like they made a frequent thing in the movie about how he compulsively cheats on Liz, with him even nearly getting beaten up when a woman and some friends spot him walking home with Liz because he apparently filmed a “porn audition tape“ with said woman, only to keep the tape for himself instead of paying her/sending it to a producer he claimed he knew.
He was AWFUL.
In terms of terrible horror movie boyfriends (who aren’t secretly the big bad), I’d say the only one that comes close is one from this 1970s British horror film called Death Line, which is about a clan of cannibals living in the London Underground who are descended from a bunch of Victorian workers who were trapped by a cave-in while digging the tunnels, only for the company to not launch a rescue operation because it would be too expensive.
In that movie the boyfriend responds to his girlfriend’s attempt to help someone passed out on the platform (who I believe had been attacked and knocked out by one of cannibals) by saying “Oh come on, in New York we just step over these guys!“.
He then spends the rest of the movie at that kind of level, and only really ends up with the heroine in the end because the alternatives are the aforementioned cannibal (who can only say “Mind the doors” because that’s the only phrase in English he’s heard on a frequent basis) or an amusingly detective (played by a Cockney Donald Pleasurance from the Halloween movies) investigating the disappearance of a sleazy politician (the guy who the heroine wanted to help earlier without recognising him).
Donald’s character was cool, even if his annoyance and confusion over the new invention of tea bags was funny.
Should have hooked up with Donald Pleasance
Maybe then she could have got him to settle down and not spend his life chasing Michael Myers (The serial killer, not the actor) and trying to put an end to his crimes (Michale Myers fictional crimes in the Halloween movies, not the actual crime that was The Cat in the Hat)
In all honesty if Pleasance played Dr Loomis the way he played the cop in Death Line it would have been AMAZING. Even if Myers being followed by an irritated Cockney detective would have clashed with the tone somewhat.
Loomis is just perpetually annoyed by his Halloween Crimes
I’m going out on a limb and guessing that all of the lions are males with glorious manes
in the wild, males only hunt when they’re not part of a pride, which happens when they’re ejected from their birth pride upon reaching sexual maturity; they will roam solo or as a coalition of brothers, typically for several years, before they either displace an older established male or coalition of males by challenging him and either killing him or driving him off with sufficient authority that he won’t consider challenging them again, or until they find a pride with no adult male members (lionesses will not mate with their male offspring normally); either way, the new male(s) will kill any cubs, which triggers estrus (heat) in the lionesses
once established, the job of the male(s) is to patrol the territory and keep away competing prides and nomadic lions from valuable resources, while the lionesses hunt to feed the pride as a whole; individually, male lions are substantially larger and stronger than lionesses, with the more dominant male having the higher testosterone levels (evidenced by not just the size of the mane but its color; darker manes are associated with higher testosterone levels), which makes them better for intimidation and fighting, but lionesses practice group hunting tactics and aren’t generally at much risk of injury compared to the males
anyway, I say all this to back up my guess is that he’s not subsistence hunting, he’s killing to establish his territory
checking to see how the godform merryl piece would look alongside others as a cover maybe. not sure where i’ll go with it, probably gonna have a dozen reworks by the time i decide XDi’m still in the i hate everything about this piece phase(don’t worry this is a standard thing with me XD)
most are still gonna be finished and updated
This along with Sunstone and Achilles Shieldmaidens forms the perfect trio of Sexy Gay Disaster content for me :D
Hey,,, so we took my kitties to the vet this past Thursday and they were both diagnosed with issues that require surgical treatment… The younger one, Worf, needs a tooth removed and needs complete x-rays to check other teeth for the same condition and my baby, Tuffy, has a lump on his neck which needs to be removed.
My step dad started a GoFundMe because of it and I was hoping y'all could help me spread it around (and donate if you feel like it)? 🥺
The pandemic has really hit us hard, financially and mentally, and I don’t know what else to do. My cats mean the world to me, Tuffy especially. I’ve had him since I was 8, he grew up with me in an abusive home and in the aftermath of getting out of said home, so my connection to him is severe.He’s my emotional support animal..I love him more than anything in this world. I’d give up everything to have him. He’s my pride and joy. The thought of losing either of them devastates me and I’m so terrified cause I know we can’t afford it. Just writing this and thinking about either of them passing is already making me cry. I just don’t know what else to do anymore so please, even if you can just reblog it, it’d mean everything.
very cheap second hand copy of mason’s gilgamesh arrived today and it had annotations from a previous owner that are probably better than the text itself
greatest hits from rachel’s marginalia
that looks eerily like my handwriting and note-taking style, but I’m quite sure I’ve never studied Gilgamesh academically
maybe an alternate universe me stopped by this one and sold off her college copy for a spot of cash
Your strength is just as much inside as it is on the outside.. and we only get better with consistency and practice. Do the thing today best that you can manage.
Pronouns: she, her. Trans woman. Lesbian. Economist by day, 24/7 ranty mcrantypants. Talks about damn near anything.
The subtitle is something that started out as a joke, but ... isn't anymore. I may post NSFW content from time to time.
